Creating a safe space as a woman in an entrenched and saturated trauma environment
Trigger Warning
The following writing explores trauma, survival responses, power dynamics, gendered violence, political themes, and the emotional impact of unsafe societies and relationships.
Please, check in with your body and nervous system before reading. Step away at any time if you feel overwhelmed.
Preface
I’ll start by saying this: doing some of these things for safety is a privilege. Not all women have a stay‑at‑home job that pays well enough for this list, or a reliable support system. Some of us are living day to day, and even basic safety is a luxury.
So, I added two sections — one for unhoused and unemployed women, and one for well‑employed and housed women.
My current security comes from years of dedication and longevity working in tech. It gives me space to build safety now. It’s fragile. It can shift at any moment. But there were many times when I didn’t have a steady income and had to make concessions — which abusers count on to continue their cycles of control and abuse.
For the Displaced, Unemployed, Unhoused, or Van Lifers
A 24‑hour gym membership can help you maintain hygiene, stay focused on your health, and create a routine of stability when everything else feels chaotic or collapsing. Choose a locally owned spot instead of a corporate chain to avoid surveillance nests, and never go at the same time or day. It’s difficult because building routine and unpredictability at once feels contradictory, but it’s necessary for safety.
Stay away from non‑profits, charities, and churches. Those are too often tools of gaslighting and continued abuse. If they really worked, millions of people wouldn’t be trapped in the exact positions they are in right now. Most are clever tax havens or fronts for trafficking and surveillance — ways to keep you in cycles of poverty through racketeering, social control, and the pretense of care. They withhold what they claim to provide.
Until you are housed and secure, assume that everything you say will be used to exploit, probe, or expose you. Create a false persona and stick to it — don’t share real information or disclose your actual situation. Use a fake name, a fake family, fake hobbies, fake education, fake relationship history. I wish I had known this earlier. Codify it into permanent law for yourself. You are rewriting your story like Coco Chanel did.
“Yes, my parents are delightfully rich and well‑connected. I’m just here to visit a friend for his restaurant opening and to take a spa tour of the city. Oh, I’m married — he’s a civil rights lawyer.”
Say it with calm confidence until the lie becomes armor.
Don’t park your car in daylight to sleep. Don’t be seen in it. The moment you arrive where you’ll rest, cover the windows immediately. Never tell anyone where you live or sleep — or if you do, lie about it.
If you want to get a job quickly, don’t look unkempt. Appearance matters in survival. That’s why the gym is essential — not for vanity but for strategy. However, if you’re living in a shelter or a gym full of men, the rule reverses. Get unattractive fast. Safety shifts with environment. Pretty punishment is a thing. They love a vulnerable target to project on, don’t give it to them. Skip shelters altogether and learn bushcraft. Go into nature. Go to the woods. Volunteer with farms or try WWOOFing. Natural survival can be safer than institutional “help.” There’s a reason we choose the bear— bears are rational actors and bears survives because they return to the forest.
Make a list of your immediate next moves — just one or two concrete steps, whether that’s a call, an interview, or acquiring gear. Think in small increments. Focus on one task at a time.
This is happening to women because we are under state‑sanctioned warfare. So learn warfare. Understand situational awareness, psychological manipulation, surveillance detection, investigation basics, legal rights, and self‑defense. Learn due force, escape and evasion, and counter‑surveillance. Know how to anticipate the endgame — how much money you’ll need to defend yourself legally, or how to make them retreat before court ever becomes necessary. Don’t rely on agencies, corporations, or systems to ensure your safety. They’re just the clean‑up crew for the unlucky and the unprepared.
Train yourself to maintain a regulated nervous system. You owe no one your time, your story, or your emotional labor. Now is the time to be selfish with energy, time, and access.
Hold integrity at the highest level in all things. Allow yourself grace for imperfection, because shame is another weapon used against you. Perfectionism gives them a foothold to gaslight, distort, or blame you for the abuse you’ve experienced.
Record every interaction, quietly and legally where possible. Photograph strange behavior. Use an AI meeting recorder or smart glasses. Document everything you do, everywhere, with everyone, like you’re building a dossier. If you don’t have electronics, use a notebook. Written proof is still power.
For the Employed and Housed
Don’t leave your house. Yes, that’s the unpopular truth. But you know what’s statistically and categorically unsafe for women? Simply walking outside.
I understand now why some men build private, beautiful, secure spaces for women — luxurious sanctuaries protected from the outside world. And yes, ironically, those same men are often the danger that women need shielding from. It’s a maddening loop. Sometimes I feel like throwing them all into a volcano would finally fix everything.
As a woman, you are unsafe everywhere: in a car, at home, in a hospital, at a bank or dentist’s office, at a gas station, in classrooms, stores, concerts, bars, churches, gyms, theaters — anywhere. Don’t let anyone gaslight you into believing you’re free in a so‑called safe society.
You can’t even pump gas without being in danger. That’s if you’re wealthy and white. Add more intersections of identity — race, class, disability — and stepping into public space becomes an act of exposure, not freedom. Just existing outside feels like asking for it.
Every city and state is filled with military bases, police stations, and fire departments. And yet, women can’t stand outside for five uninterrupted minutes without threat, harassment, or constant surveillance. If those institutions worked, they would have. The evidence says otherwise.
Evolutionarily, this level of chaos signals internal collapse — a species devolving from self‑domestication. Colonization has bred violent non‑thinkers: men conditioned through Pavlovian reward cycles, fueled by false currency, waging self‑inflicted population control. This is depopulation disguised as dominance.
Staying home 99.99 percent of the time means I need disposable income — enough for food delivery, packages, medication, weed delivery, and anything else necessary. Contactless delivery preferred. It also means investing extra in online fitness training and home‑based equipment. Doctors with home visits. Foreign doctors. Lawyers. It requires a robust home theatre and library, food‑prep systems, strategies for disability management, and ongoing exercises for inner resilience. Safety in isolation depends on a deliberately rich inner life.
Women earn to create distance — to exit the dysfunction systems that men built and still maintain proudly. We seek to leave them behind, forever. We don’t want to “return to the office.” You can keep your boardrooms and your gas stations. Dusty relics of male infrastructure.
Men today are lonely, diverted, and reprogrammed away from empathy. They overfill public spaces, then lash out at the women they’ve objectified. These power systems operate in tandem — pushing women toward poverty to tighten control. This isn’t coincidence; it’s design. Their motive is always the same: control, surveillance, possession.
Saving money and staying home solves many problems — except one: surveillance. Privacy collapses under the weight of total visibility. 5G networks, smartphones, home devices — all normalize being watched. Real walls can’t protect you when your data becomes the window. When your life and body can be sold for profit, data loss becomes a liability.
Once objectification extends from individuals to institutions — when it becomes policy — it signals something catastrophic for humanity itself. We are witnessing a species turning inward, breaking its own mother shell. Extinction is not a metaphor anymore; it’s an outcome accelerated by entitlement and delusion.
Avoid crowds. Truly, avoid them. It could save your life. You don’t need the store. Get it delivered. Stay home. Grow your world inward. If you have a brother or trusted male ally, send him instead.
Final Thoughts
Every act of careful withdrawal is not fear — it’s self‑preservation. Each delivery ordered, every day quietly spent in safety, every notebook filled with record and reason — these are not minor habits. They’re proof of life.
Women are not paranoid; we are pattern‑recognizing. And we’re done asking anyone else for permission to survive.
Further Reading:
Dating Safety Guide: Housing Privacy in a Dangerous Landscape
8 Signs of a sick, collapsing society
The real red pill: decolonizing sex and life
For men: what if I am the bad guy
Sources
Me
Ash's Journal 
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